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Secrets to Being a Calm Mom

We have all seen moms who seem to have it all together. They quietly speak to their well- behaved, charming and accomplished young children as they bring homemade bread and elaborate, tasty casseroles to the church potluck dinner. They are always on time. Their children are not only well-behaved, but they are dressed beautifully… and so is their mother. They even smell good!

Do you ever look at those women and wonder how they do it? Why are they so serene? How do they live with little ones and yet they don’t seem to constantly be on their last nerve… much less any nerve at all? They carry on in depth conversations with other adults with no worry. Their hair is nicely done, car is clean, house is immaculate. Do you ever feel like you can never measure up?

Well, first let me tell you, those moms DO have days where they don’t have it all together. There are moments in time when their children misbehave, their house isn’t perfect and their bread turns out like a brick. They even lose their temper, forget to do the bills, and they come late to church. The secret is out. Nobody is a perfect mother. Nobody.

I have to bring this up because I’d like to share a few comments I have been the recipient of over the years.

“It is amazing how you are always on time for church even with all your little ones.” Not true, but in their mind, I was always on time. I tried to make it an important point to be there on time, but sometimes a diaper would be loaded up just when it is time to go. I’d get up late and be scrambling to make it there before Sunday school, or one of the children would ruin their clothes just as we were going out the door. But, in their mind, I was always on time.

“Do you do that make-all-the-meals-in-a-month thing? You seem like you have it altogether and would be the kind of person who would be that well prepared.” LOL. No. We would many times throw some hotdogs in the pan with a can of beans and heat up another can of veggies for dinner. My children were always fed, but it was common for us to have leftovers or work out a quick meal at the last minute. But in that person’s mind, I was always prepared. Frankly, the make-all-your-meals-for-the-month thing seems like H-E-double toothpick to me! More power to the moms who do that! “Your children seem to get along so well together. I can’t imagine them arguing or fighting. How do you do it?” There were nine children with nine different personalities and nine sets of emotions while various things were going on at different times. Do you really think they always got along? This person did think that. My children were friends one minute and enemies the next. But, in the end, they knew misbehaving was not allowed. At least in front of Mom and Dad. We tried to teach our children to be respectful to each other, but they chose how they would act and as they grew, they learned more and more the benefits of being friends. They were not perfect and neither wa