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BE THE MOM: How to take charge

Wouldn't it be lovely to be able to go to the store with a young preschool child and not worry about their behavior? No concern that they will have a bratty fit, become demanding or scream their head off in public? One of the most frustrating things about parenting young children can be the underlying thought that those little sweethearts are actually leading you around, rather than you leading them. You want so much to teach, train, and direct them, but at times it seems impossible! So, what to do? This post starts with the basics, and a simple method to stop the fits! Read on to find out how to BE THE MOM: HOW TO TAKE CHARGE. You can also listen to the podcast "BE THE MOM: How to Take Charge" !

The first thing to do is ask yourself a few questions to get a picture of who is really in charge. Be honest!

Do you make decisions based upon what you believe your child’s response will be? Or, do you make decisions based upon what you know is best for the child?

When you want your child to do something, do you ask them if they want to do it? Or do you tell them what you expect of them? (For example: "Susie, do you want to eat your peas?" OR "Susie, eat your peas.") If you tell your children to do something, what is their response? What are your children’s expectations of you - when you give them a command? What kind of defiant behaviors does your child display? How do you handle defiance? If the answers are not what they should be to the above questions, it is likely that a few things need to change in order for you to really and truly BE THE MOM. Asserting your authority should happen because you love them and want what is best for them. They are children. THEY do not know what is best. You do. In order for you to parent effectively, they must know three things:

1. You love them.

2. You know what is best for them.

3. You WILL assert your authority to make sure what is best for them is done. When a child knows these three things, it creates security. When they feel secure, they feel loved and they much more easily comply with what you want them to do. Being the MOM means being mature in your relationship with your child… and is the first step to taking charge. Sometimes, when we become frustrated, it is easy to lose sight of the fact that we are in charge and they are not. It’s easy to become an immature parent at the moment of frustration. Get down to their level and scream along with them. But, that obviously isn't the right thing to do. Let’s discuss what it is to be a mature parent and how that relates to our interaction with our children.